Kingdom of Rust

I've now left the polluted City of Bangkok behind, and now find myself in the wonderful Kingdom of Cambodia. My latest Guest House gamble seems to have paid off. The Bright Lotus 1 is just a short walk from the river and is immaculate - relative to My Hole-House Guest House in Thailand. I have an amazing view overlooking the Royal Palace and National Museum and the room itself has the luxury of two double beds. I am not overly sure what to do with two beds, so I've pushed them together to make me a bed the size of Rick Waller.

Across the road is a healthy handful of restaurants, bars and hotels including the well known FCC where I enjoyed a pleasant jar of Ankor draught whilst looking over at the muddy banks of the Mekong and Tonle Sap Rivers. Better still was a little bar that I luckily passed by on my walk home, called de ja vu, comprising of mostly ex-pat and international travellers. I embarked on a fairly heavy night of conversing, drinking and singing on stage with a table of volunteers from the local hospital who originated from such places as Switzerland, Ethiopia, Philadelphia, Brisbane, Cork and Auckland.

The owner (who is from Bulgaria and resembles the would be love child of Jack Sparrow and Dimitar Berbatov) and I have now become firm friends after engaging in humorous banter regarding his potential divorce to his luminous Portuguese wife. I naturally urged the break up in the hope that I can then marry her myself. I think he can see through my plan though.

Dimi, the Bar Owner

Cambodia is absolutely Ronny Roasters at the moment and so the day-time trips to the Royal Palace and National Museum have been at times exhausting and only just saved by my constant appetite for an ice-cream. The natural shade of the courtyards were met with eternal gratitude even as most of the ice-cream melted over my shirt and hands. Today I took a fierce looking moto to the Killing Fields of Choeung Ek, located about 15km outside of the Capital. The moto underwhelmed me beyond measure as we got routinely overtaken by smirking school children on their bicycles. Not only that but due to the lack of accelerator (my lawnmower at home has a more powerful engine) we had to brace the slow and unbearable stench of neighbouring garbage trucks drift by.

On a not too dissimilar note, I have encouragingly finally surrendered to the wild orchid like aroma rising from my backpack and decided to do my laundry. On handing over my bag of secrets to the young ladies at the local laundrette, they mercilessly went through my underwear, piece by piece and openly mocked me. Even though I'm not fluent in Cambodian I didn't need a translator to understand the reasons behind their cackling and pointing at my Incredible Hulk pants. I have never felt so humiliated. Until I looked on in further horror as they cried hysterically over my bright pink pants.

Phnom Penh Song of the Day: Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time
This majestic 80's song lit up my breakfast at Cafe 33 and somehow narrowly beat a terrific euro-dance version of Enrique Iglesias's first English smash, Hero
i-pod Song of the Day: Passion Pit - Let Your Love Grow Tall
A real gem from their sunny album Manners which I urge you to have a listen to

Everyone Looks Like Damo from Home & Away

Every time I walk past this tuk-tuk driver on Soi Chanasongkhram Road, next to my Guest House, he delivers me a charmless smile as if we are old school friends, and loudly asks me if I am from either from Malaysia, Singapore, Bali or Sri Lanka. Every single day this week. The destination appears to change with his mood. Surely it's obvious that I'm from Bengal, India and was brought up in England? Idiot. This man is ruining my trip.

In the past couple of days I've also discovered, as I was unpacking my clothes, that my only pair of jeans that I'd brought, and the pair that I wore for the journey over here, had a massive rip down my backside. Basically, this must have meant that I looked like Christina Aguilera in the Dirrty video, but without the grinding. No wonder the Qantas Air Stewardess begged me not to store my hand luggage at the upper cabin locker on route here. It's amazing what tailors out here can do for one pound fifty though, I'm now patched up and ready for more.

I've been recommended by a few folk to embrace the shadier side of Khao San Road (most of it) and get myself a new ISIC card. This really appealed as I truly have missed being a student. On obtaining said card, the only problem was that they couldn't fit 'University of East Anglia' across it (my old Uni, I wanted a glimmer of truth in this deception), and so, pressed for an alternative I panicked and chose 'Leeds'. I could have gone for Cambridge, Oxford or Edinburgh, but I had to go for Leeds. For shame.

The good news is that the new ISIC card is already paying for itself. Sure, in the photo I look like I'm about to mug a nun, but I've already gotten half price on various tourist attractions. Some have been charitable organisations, but I don't have time to feel guilty about these things.

One of the more interesting trips that I've made this week has been to Jim Thompson's House. For those of you who are not aware of Jimbo, he was an American assigned to the Office of Strategic Services (OSS), forerunner to the CIA, during the Second World War. Although he didn't see any action, he fell for the City of Bangkok on a posting here and developed his own business of exporting Thai Silk.
However, after a trip to the Cameron Highlands in Malaysia, he went missing and there is still huge mystery circling his disappearance. Was it the CIA, or local tribes or was it suicide? I fear only one man can resolve this issue, and that's: www.jimcorr.com. I'll drop him an email to see if he can shed any light.

Some of you may be aware that I have also ditched my plush Hotel with pool for a more traveller styled Guest House. This downgrade is of epic proportions. If any of you have read The Beach by Alex Garland you'll be able to envisage the room that I'm in as it's exactly how the author describes the one that Daffy shoots himself in at the beginning of the novel. All painful light at night seeping through the vents and questionable stains on the wall. I love it.

This is not entertainment

The only positive thing going is that the common room is great, loads of backpackers and really cheap Changs for me. I got invited to go to an infamous Ping Pong show last night by a group of Canadian girls. I can't think of many things worse and with the hope of preserving some of my innocence, opted to watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen with the other grotty hippies in the common room instead. Who is the winner in this sorry tale? You, for not witnessing either.

Bangkok Song of the Day: Emma Bunton - What Took You So Long?
This breezy classic came over like a dream whilst sitting in a taxi on my way to Siam Square

i-Pod Song of the Day: Phoenix - Lisztomania
I know, I know. This IS up beat for me

Hand on Chang is the only way to land...

Hi. Krishnendu here. I promised a few of you that I'd start my own blog charting my sorry demise over the next eight months of travelling around the globe. You'll be happy to hear that I've landed safe and sound in Bangkok, Thailand. It took me almost 10 minutes to spy my first lady boy from the relative safety of my air conditioned hot pink taxi. Said lady boy was ugly and on a mission to hunt down an old European man, and thankfully, not me fresh off the plane.

I shared my taxi with a kiwi girl whom I met in the taxi queue (true story). Funnily enough, she had just quit her job as a waitress at Carluccios, the very same Carluccios that I used to frequent at lunch / 4pm Diet Coke break in Covent Garden. Apparently they have decided to stop the free lemon oil and bruschetta dip that they had on display in the deli as it is now out of season. For those at my old work, take note.

Today is day two of my travel odyssey - and I'm still not bored of my own company. Who knew that I could be so entertaining with an icy bottle of Chang in my hand (that stuff is potent for a little guy like me, 7%). This morning I had a little tour of the weekend market at Chatuchak, following a cool ride on the ultra-modern Sky Train - which was a bit like the monorail from The Simpsons, the one with the monorail song which was well heavy. The market is a little overwhelming to be honest, too much stuff going on and all I wanted was a red vest, which I couldn't find. The image that has stayed with me from the trip was a mannequin outside a drinks stall with a smiling pigs head. It still haunts me.

All for now you'll be pleased to hear, tonight I'll look forward to watching some football at the Gulliver's Travel's Tavern on Khao San Road whilst trying to mingle with the crowd. Hopefully they won't see through my fake laughter and smile. Wish me luck.

Song of the day: Taylor Swift - Love Story
It's just a magical pop song which was belting out the radio from a little store near my hotel today.