Holden Caulfield Narrates Our Downfall

I'm now back in Phnom Phen for a couple of days before my flight out to Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) on Thursday. I am staying by the Lake once more, only for a couple of nights, to save on some dollars and luckily my room at #11 Guesthouse Lakeside, is a touch cleaner than last time. I even have a mirror in my bathroom, and this can only be a good thing - though the dark and bruised reflection whispers a very different story.

I decided to have a few relaxing drinks at The Magic Sponge, which is a quaint and quirky bar near my hostel. The decor is childlike, what with paintings of SpongeBob SquarePants on the brick walls. Behind the bar is a sign indicating the sale of marijuana joints for $2 a throw. This concerned me somewhat as I believed that weed was illegal over here. In fact, it is. Just that the barmen bribe the local officers $1.50 per month to keep their silence and cooperation. Ah, the sweetly acidic smell of police corruption.


SpongeBob experiences another bad trip. Kids, drugs are bad

The barmen are endearing enough, there's an English Swampy, a Nigerian who constantly wears a blond bob wig, and a Cambodian who sports a Maori-styled plastic mask. I believe they may be high on more than life itself. Fate played me a cruel hand whilst at this bar though. An Irish man, around the age of fifty who looked somewhat like an anorexic Peter Cook (sans acerbic wit), sat next to me. I had to therefore endure hours of this man talk at me about anything that interested him, from paedophilia in the Catholic Church to coffee plantations in the North of the Country. I spent a lot of time making the Olympic Games logo on the bar surface with the falling condensation from my can of Klang beer.

I don't usually mind easy banter at a pub or bar, but I just wanted to watch the game on television and my mind was occupied by other pressing matters (had my stomach recovered from Malarone poisoning, namely). The part of the conversation that irked me most was when Thin-Cook asked me where I was heading next. On answering with my muttered 'Vietnam' he immediately stated that 9 out of 10 people who go there dislike it enormously. Thanks for that, can't wait to get there now. Jerk.

To ensure some detachment from this man, I told him, when probed, that my occupation was promoting eco-tourism for Ethical Traveller magazine, and that I was touring South East Asia finalising the 2010 nomination list for most ethical countries to visit. I don't know why this sprung to mind, but I was just so bored that this entertained me for a while.

I kind of feel bad about this lie now though as Thin-Cook was totally engrossed by my 'work' and wished to hard sell his now native Cambodia for the list. For your records, here are the actual top 5 destinations for ethical tourism for 2010, according to Ethical Traveller magazine, my new employers:

Argentina
Belize
Chile
Ghana
Lithuania

Surely there's nothing ethical about travelling to Lithuania. Well, that's what I thought at first, but having just spied the Lithuanian National Tourism Office website I am left humbled as apparently the major industry there are refrigerators and freezers. I'm booking flights now.

I digress, monumentally.

A funny thing happened the other night, which roused me from sleep. A major fight broke out in my hostel between an American guy, a fat middle-aged Cockney and a Cambodian girl (who, it later transpired, was a prostitute). The Cockney man and the American were actually fighting over Roxanne, and were throwing punches at each other, both falling and crashing on the walls of the hostel rooms from the exchanged blows. It seemed like they knew each other though as the Cockney kept screaming "I don't care what happened in Thailand, you selfish c***, this slag's mine!"
It was hilarious and not even a little bit depressing.


Please turn off the red light. I'm tired and I want to sleep

I'm off now to honour a pinky promise I made to a little girl selling books by the Riverside to purchase something from her literary carousel. All her books in her little blue plastic basket look new enough, but having bought one recently I found that she'd photocopied every page. Most of the lines within the chapters were at an angle and a couple of pages were missing. No bother, meant I finished the book at quite the pace and I know better than to break a pinky promise.

Phnom Phen Song of the Day: Glenn Medeiros - Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You
What a song! I remember this when I was a kid. In some capacity I want to be as slick as old Glenn when I grow up. Check out the video, it's awesome: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kybeq2dWBf8

i-Pod Song of the Day: Whiskeytown - Bar Lights
"Well I got five more dollars, drink another. You'll feel fine. You'll feel fine, You'll feel fine"