A Wander in the Imperial City

With a name like A Dong Silk, I had no choice but to step in and purchase a suit at this fancy little tailor boutique in Hoi An. I casually flicked through their catalogue of suit cut options, which was in essence a neatly bound collage of the fashion pages of GQ and Esquire magazines from the last year, and decided upon a Hugo Boss style skinny fit grey option. The sole reason this appealed was because Barney from How I Met Your Mother (someone in my old flat used to Sky+ it and got me addicted) was modelling the piece and for those of you who know the show, his suits define 'awesomeness'. A little fact for you, Barney, who plays a razor witted playboy in the series, had a previous incarnation as the star of Doogie Houser when he was a teenager. True story. The ladies at A Dong Silk were not shy in taking all my measurements. I'm sure some of the readings were not necessary at all (why did they need to check my buttocks?) and left me somewhat violated, especially when I had to take my shirt off in the middle of the store whilst the staff and customers watched eagle eyed as I carefully sucked in. Their techniques were as thorough and similar to that of Joey Tribiani's flamboyant tailor.

Following this strutting parade, I grabbed a bicycle and took a tour of the town, over the decorated bridges towards the beach a few kilometres from the centre of the district. There is something very liberating in observing the folk, absorbed in the routine of their daily lives, in this calm and pleasant manner and I felt fully justified in the rental, in spite of the embarrassingly moist harris when I finally jumped off the rusty device. I spent the final day at Hoi An visiting the impressive Cham Temples at My Son, situated in the dense jungle. Unfortunately the majority of these relics were destroyed during the War and only a handful of the original foundations have survived. The short trip up to Hue, the imperial Capital of Vietnam, was also stunning in it's deep scenery of twisting roads within the stooping mountainside, complete with silent waterfalls and inviting pine green shrubbery. It's no wonder that the route through the Great Ocean Road is so highly regarded by those who have had the fortune of passing by.

Hoi An bicycle tour

My first dorm room of the trip welcomed me on my first day at Hue, the distinct smell of athlete's foot blanketing the air. All in all the hostel is surprisingly nice as it's only been open for six months and has yet to lose the shine from its first coat of paint. Being lucky enough to be able to fall asleep in most environments the rhythmic roar of snoring from neighbouring bunks has not impaired my stay either.

With the Aussies at Cafe Clem by the Perfume River

I befriended some travellers from Perth and Tasmania (there appears to be no shortage of Australian students carelessly spending their loaned dollars on their post exam vacations) and on one of our aimless strolls into the City, stumbled upon some children playing football on the side road. They hollered at us to join in, and on viewing my tremendous four kick ups in a row, applauded and chanted to me as if I was a young Nolberto Solano playing his trumpet down the wing. This favour soon turned to boyish resentment as I spooned the flat plastic ball into the murky waters of the nearby river. We briskly pressed on as they desperately tried to retrieve the ball back with the aid of a fallen branch.

Nobby. Not pleased with the comparison

As our walking tour in the midday sun had left us tired and parched, the night was seen to a close at Brown Eyes Bar, hidden behind a small garden a few blocks from the hostel. The chirpy slogan of the bar was enticing enough 'We close when the last person passes out', encouraging me to debut a few new moves on the dance floor, including a wonderfully apt machine gun dance, complete with Platoon-esque knee slide with arms raised defiantly in the air. I imagine the local clientele were pleased with this reference to a bloody chapter in their recent history. This move, along with my classic lassoo, robot and fish tank dive caught on with the tourist pack, who mimicked the motions in what I can only assume was quiet awe and not that of mocking.

The King's Panorama Rooftop Bar at The Imperial Hotel

I fly out to Hanoi tonight, arriving at my hostel for around 10pm, just in time to douse myself in lynx Africa and sing along to The Final Countdown just before midnight. I can only mildly speculate on the cruel beauty that awaits in the Chinese year of the Tiger.

Hue Song of the Day - The Police - Every Breath You Take
The repetitive bass loop plodded along nicely as I gazed at the street views from the rooftop bar of the elegant Imperial Hotel. I chose a small can of tonic water as my poison of choice, it was the cheapest item on the menu and still cost more than most of my meals.

i-Pod Song of the Day- Flight of the Conchords - Cheer Up Murray
Our favourite Deputy Cultural Attaché at the New Zealand Consulate gets a pick me up from Bret and Jermaine.

Cheer up Murray/It's time to forget /Your wife met someone on the net /Let's go and get an ice-cream

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqbB8aPD1UU

Some people don't return his calls